Love

Notes from class **- Love**


 * What is love?** What factors define love?
 * strong emotional attachment to something/someone
 * motive, drive, inspiration, hate, pain, guilt
 * something that makes you happy/smile
 * feeling of trust, security, intimacy
 * anything you have strong feelings for
 * caring on a deep level
 * a blessing
 * mesh together with someone
 * protection from detachment
 * strong feeling of connection
 * needing/appreciating/enjoying something and it gives back to you


 * Is love an emotion?**

__Prototype approach__ - a set of characteristics that describes the ideal example of some category We can define love as an emotion because of the prototype.


 * Bowlby**
 * Attachment
 * Caregiving - Nurturer love
 * Sexual desire

__Attachment__ - emotional bond between individuals, evolutionary benefits (important for survival)
 * Secure attachment - upset when mom leaves/happy when she comes back
 * Anxious attachment - upset when mom leaves/clingy but pushing away when mom gets back
 * Avoidant attachment - upset when mom leaves/ don't engage when come back

> - helps to develop a strong bond, it is released in breast milk and during sex > - when you no longer have a connection and pleasure center isnt stimulated people find loss painful
 * Biochemicals that affect Love:**
 * __Oxytocin__: creates a neurochemical feeling of love
 * __Endorphins__: stimulate dopamine receptors in the brain, natural pain killers -stimulate the pleasure center
 * __Dopamine:__ connected to the ability to love - SSRIs lower dopamine
 * __Mirror Neurons:__ show similar patters of activity when we watch others movements. (empathy)

__Principal of Similarity:__ overwhelmingly proves more accurate with partnerships than the myth of __Principal of Opposition.__


 * Four Emotional Patterns of Problems**
 * __Criticism__: pointing our perceived problems with behavior
 * __Defensiveness__: usual response to criticism and criticize back
 * __Contempt__: disagreement with views (rolling ones eyes, being sarcastic)
 * __Stonewalling__: block, ignoring or shutting out a partner that hurts the relationship


 * Chapter 9: Love**

Is Love an Emotion?
 * Love can be an emotional experience without being an emotion
 * Many psychologist see love as an attitude (combination of beliefs, feelings, and behaviors directed toward a person, object or category)
 * Attitudes are long lasting, whereas, emotions are brief states
 * Some psychologists see it as a script (culturally learned set of expectations about events, thoughts, feelings and behaviors)

The Prototype Approach to Love
 * The Prototype Approach to Love (Fehr and Russell) – love is a prototype (a set of characteristics that describes the ideal example of some category, but that may not be held by every member of that category
 * Fehr and Russell asked participants to list different types of love and the most common were love for parents, children, family members, romantic partners, and very close friends
 * Prototypical love is mainly experienced in the context of close relationships. It involves a commitment to someone else and it is a willingness to give even under difficult circumstances.
 * If love is an emotion then it's function is building and maintaining close relationships.

Three Types of Love?: Bowlby and the "Affectional Bonds"
 * Bowlby believed there were three complex social instincts: attachment, caregiving and sex
 * __Attachment__ – a long-lasting bond between the individual and a few regular caregivers
 * __The Strange Situation__ – a situation where a researcher can look at the attachment between infants and parents/strangers
 * __“Caregiving” system__ – motivates parents to nurture and protect their offspring, especially when they are young
 * Sympathy, compassion and nurturant can be associated with the activation of the caregiving system and motivate us to help another person
 * Sympathy is concerned attention toward someone who is suffering
 * Compassion is similar but emphasizes that the recipient is in distress
 * Nurturant love is the emotion elicited by cues of youth and vulnerability, which motivates caregiving intended to enhance the others overall well-being
 * __“Sex” system__ – sexual interest in people who are likely to be good reproductive partners

Oxytocin: The Love Transmitter?
 * Oxytocin can come into play with attachment, caregiving and sex
 * When a mother and a baby touch oxytocin is released and this causes maternal bonding
 * Maternal bonding - the attachment behaviors of a mother toward her baby

The Biology of Attachment? Endogenous Opiates
 * Endorphins also play a role in close relationships. Animals cry when they are separated from their mothers and it is associated with a sudden decrease in endorphins.
 * __Empathetic accuracy__ – the ability to figure out what another person is thinking and feeling
 * __Emotional empathy__ – feeling what another person is feeling
 * __Mirror neurons__ - motor neurons that show similar patterns of activity when we observe others' movements and when we make those movements ourselves

Romantic Love and Marriage
 * __Passionate love__ – marked by frequent thoughts about the other person, intense desire to be together and excitement from the partner’s attention
 * __Companionate love__ – emphasis on security and mutual care and protection
 * __Adult attachments__ – prefer to be in close contact, turn to the partner for support and derive security and confidence from the partner
 * __Self-disclosure__ - sharing personal, intimate, and confidential information
 * Marital satisfaction takes a dive after the first child is born
 * Gottman has identified four emotional patterns that do predict serious problems for a relationship: criticism (complaining about a person's flaws), defensiveness (denying that the complaint is valid), contempt (rolling one's eyes, being sarcastic, or insulting), stonewalling (ignoring)

Attachment and Friendship
 * Warm and secure friendships in adolescence can be crucial for healthy adult lives
 * One study has found that there is a link between number of friends and happiness, but the research is correlational so we cannot infer causality

Love: What is it, Why does it matter, and how does it operate?-Reis & Aron -article describes the progress that scientists have made in the study of love WHAT IS IT? -distinction between passionate love (state of intense longing) and companionate love(affection to people who are close to you i.e, family friends) -prototype apporoach WHY DOES IT MATTER? -a way to solve specific adaptational problems

9-27

love:

attachment __care-giving__ - compassion or sympathy

evolution and compassion - we have a response to people who are in distress.

__oxytocin__ - seems to create a __neurochemical__ feeling of love. __oxytocin__ is in breast milk.

endorphins - stimulate dopamine receptors in brain. So, in a __neurological__ sense, love is a drug.

romantic love is a drive: -1. roaming for love -2. being in love with someone -3. attachment

Emotional Convergence: peoples emotional reactions to things __converge.__ So, the emotional reactions of people become similar. Increases longevity of relationship.

In the experiment they observed how people converge to the emotions of their romantic partner or their __roommate?__ People who are similar in attitudes and reactions tend to  __develop__ longer relationships.

couples who stayed together had a larger amount of emotional convergence.

4 __patterns__ of relationship ending criticism - pointing out __perceived__ problems with behavior defensiveness - usual response to criticism and countercriticize contempt - disagreement with views stonewalling - block relationship that hurts relationship

there needs to be some motivation to perform well, but over-arousal or over-motivation causes a decrease in performance.

2 phases of __anticipatory__ fear Dread will keep us from performing the difficult task Over-motivation causes anxiety too.

__anxiety__ is a generalized feeling of an anticipated negative outcome.

__Amygdala__ is almond shaped and in the limbic system by the hippocampus

__Amygdala__ is responsible for perception of fear.

Stimulating __amygdala__ also creates learning.

limbic system is more primal than cortex.

GABA: Gamma Buteric Amino Acid which is __neurochemical.__ GABA decreases brain activity.